THE TRUTH ABOUT BUNNY SPEED DATES
By Fiona Murphy, The Bunny Bonding Coach
I had a question recently about how effective bunny speed dates - this is something that you often see recommended online to people who are looking for a friend for their rabbit.
HOW THEY WORK
When you're looking for a friend for your rabbit is you can sometimes take your rabbit to the local shelter or rescue center and they will put your rabbit in with different rabbits to see which ones they're more likely to get on with, which ones are less likely to get on with so that you can adopt one and bring him or her home.
To be honest, I don't put a whole lot of significance on bunny speed dates - this is because I've often had contact with people who have taken their rabbit for a bunny speed date where they have appeared to get on quite well. Then they've brought the second rabbit home and then once they've got them home, the rabbits have started to fight and the owners are shocked - what happened? I thought they were getting on really well and the rescue told me that they would be fine.
Several things can go wrong with speed dates - this is the problem. So, first of all, does your rescue know a whole lot about rabbits? And do they know a whole lot about bonding? If they don't know a lot about bonding or the person that you're actually dealing with on that particular day, doesn't know a whole lot about bonding they may be misreading the signals from the rabbits - sometimes they think because they're not actually going straight to fight mode straight away that they will be fine.
Of course, that can be a good sign. The problem is that your rabbit is out of their own territory so they're generally curious, they're interested in their surroundings' they're wondering where they are. They're having a good old sniff around because there's lots of other bunny smells around and they may well ignore the other rabbit and not pay them much attention. But then you bring the bunny home and you bring them into their own surroundings and their own territory and you're there as well for them to be territorial about and they suddenly go 'hang on a minute. I'm not keen on this stranger being in my house. And that's my mom or my dad and this is my house! And what are you doing here?' and then they can then go into attack mode even though they didn't do that at the shelter!
I think where speed dates can be useful is where you DON'T bring home a rabbit that your rabbit goes straight into fight mode with in the shelter. If your rabbit and another rabbit go straight into fight mode then it's very likely that those rabbits aren't very compatible or at least the bond would be very difficult.
So from that point of view, it's useful to know which rabbit NOT to bring home. I think as long as speed dates are done with your understanding that they may not tell you the whole picture, then I think that they can be useful. The behaviors that they display in the rescue aren't necessarily going to be the behaviors that you're going to see once you bring the rabbit home.
Then it is important not to expect that they won't fight at all once you get them home. A good rescue should give the new owners the full picture of what the bonding process could be like or how much hard work actually needs to go into it even if the speed date seems to go ok. A lot of rescues do a great speed dating service and give the owners all the information they need to make the best decision for themselves and their bunny.
So definitely do your research, finding a rescue with a good reputation for rabbits, and about how much work you're going to have to do for the bonding - it does take a big commitment of time, a lot of patience and it can take a lot of energy as well. It can be quite a tiring process, but it's totally worth it. When you see your rabbits grooming and snuggling at the end of it, and they're all loved up and you know that your rabbit then has company if you're not around and somebody to talk to in their own language. You just really see that this is how they really should be when you see them with another rabbit - it's so sweet and really beautiful to behold. It's well worth every minute of blood sweat and tears that goes into the bonding.
Sometimes the bonding of course is not that difficult so don't panic about it either. I see a lot of people really worried about it, but don't forget that what you see online is a lot of the negatives. People like to tell horror stories! No matter what it is, whether it's about an airline that they've got a problem with or a hotel or a bad experience with a business -- you don't read generally hear the good stories. We as a species like to moan! So you don't very often hear people say that bonding was actually okay. Just like people, sometimes they fall in love straight away and sometimes they need a little bit longer to get used to each other. And sometimes you don't see the fight modes which is what people are often most anxious about, you just see some mounting and other dominant behaviours.You have to be prepared and you have to realize that this might happen, but don't feel as though you are definitely going to see it and be daunted by it and put off by it because it really is worth the effort and there's plenty of help out there!
I offer online help if you need it, no matter where you are on the world. I have a number of different services that I can help you to get your rabbits bonded quicker and easier. and there are other businesses out there that also offer that kind of help rescues often do bonding as well. And there are professional bonders out there quite often. rabbit boarders do bonding as well. (including us, in Dublin, Ireland!)
So don't feel as though there isn't help out there for you and don't let it put you off getting your rabbit bonded and getting them a friend, because once you got them together and you see them together and how sweet they are together - You'll never regret it!
Fiona x
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